


Ersatz

by hitokiridarkempress



Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with no happy ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canonical Character Death, Dark!Tony, Hurt Stephen Strange, M/M, POV Stephen Strange, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Superior Iron Man, dark!IronStrange, do not copy to another site, no happy endings here, somebody's getting a hurt real bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 03:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19309768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hitokiridarkempress/pseuds/hitokiridarkempress
Summary: He really should have known better.  This Tony didn’t have the warm brown eyes he loved so much; instead it was a cold inhuman blue. And this Tony isn’t the world’s greatest defender; this Tony was the world’s overlord.orA broken Stephen Strange left his universe and entered Superior Iron Man's universe by accident.





	Ersatz

**Author's Note:**

> Time for Stephen to go through the angst gauntlet! This was a mish-mash of 2 ideas rolled up into one. And this was the result. It's easier to hurt Tony than to hurt Stephen. Though hopefully that might change in Doctor Strange 2...

 

It’s all his fault, Stephen thinks as he embraces this cruel mockery of his beloved. The familiar feeling of guilt and shame overwhelms the sheer jubilation of his fantasy coming to life.

_Just this once and I’ll leave._

_One more couldn’t hurt…_

_I can save him._

_One more…_

_This was a mistake._

_One more…_

_He’s still the same man on the inside…_

_One more…_

_I don’t want to go…_

So many excuses, and yet he’s trapped in his personal Hell constantly losing to his temptations. He should have never have left his dimension.  But then he would go back to a world where the sanctum feels cold and empty. To go back to where he feels the many eyes casting silent judgement, staring at a face (his face) of a liar, and a murderer whenever his reflection is shown in passing. Going back meant enduring endless pain of staring at a lake remembering his failures as a brother, a doctor, a man in love. He knows he should go back to his world. But-

It’s a world where Tony Stark is dead.

And he was the man who killed him.

‘Do no harm’ that was his oath as a doctor. He broke that once, killing a man in self-defense. It nearly broke him knowing he snuffed out a life. He swore he would never do that again. And yet… 14,000,605 possibilities and he chose to take a life in order to save trillions.

 Statistically speaking, it wasn’t a bad trade. Why should one life be prioritized over others? Tony Stark ~~is~~ was a brilliant, extraordinary and kind man. But he was still just a small insignificant speck in the grand scheme of things. Tony Stark was destined to die from the start. It should have been easy, to think of it as a medical case: cold, detached, and unfeeling. But looking at those 14,000,605 futures, he made a mistake.

He fell in love with Tony Stark. A man he couldn’t have. A man who would survive, get married, have a daughter, and would learn to be happy.

And he still took that away from him. He gave Tony Stark a sliver of happiness before dooming him to his death. And now he has to live with the consequences.

He could ignore the hurtful taunts and jeers from the angry populace on how he sacrificed Tony Stark for the greater good. He’s used to being hated; he’s had much practice as a doctor. The fact that Tony’s family never blamed him for his death was the worst. Hatred he understood, pity he could not stand.

What did they know about his grief and sorrow? The sacrifices he made? The life he could never have with his other half? They were blessed to have Tony be a part of their lives. He never had a chance in this life and never will.

He needs to get away, for his own good. He can’t afford to break. Not now, for Tony...oh Tony…

So he fled.

It wasn’t hard entering a different universe. But it was uncomfortable, like the way a shoe doesn’t fit quite right but otherwise its fine. He only needed a few days to get away from the constant reminders of his failures and the re-shattering of his already broken heart.

Until he saw _him_.

Beautiful, captivating, and _alive_ Tony Stark.

And then everything crashed and burned.

His relief at seeing Tony being alive and smiling had his guard down. He was stupid to think that this Tony would be the same. He really should have known better. This Tony wasn’t in his flashy red and gold armor. This Tony Stark donned a sleek, form-fitting silver armor. This Tony didn’t have the warm brown eyes he loved so much; instead it was a cold inhuman blue. And this Tony isn’t the world’s greatest defender; this Tony was the world’s overlord.

And this Tony loved him.

And he loved him back, Vishanti help him…how he wished he didn’t, but he does.

Not at first, apparently the Tony Stark in this universe isn’t called Iron Man. He’s the Superior Iron Man, a ruthless, benevolent dictator protecting the Earth under the watchful eyes of his Iron Legion. The Avengers were no more. Magic users were hunted down and imprisoned in anti-magic cells. Unlucky for him that his arrival triggered the Iron Legion’s anti-magic defenses leaving him bound and helpless in front of a mirror image of the man he helped kill.

Luck (if you could call it that) would have it, that this Tony Stark was familiar with the multi-verse. Of course, looking like a “love-struck teenage girl” might have given away the fact he was not from this universe. It seemed that his counterpart was a known enemy and was to be imprisoned. And it was a known fact that the other Stephen Strange hated Tony Stark.

The multi-verse is laughing at him. Just like this Tony is.

His new “home” is an anti-magic cell completely furnished and under full surveillance. The Cloak of Levitation is locked away somewhere. He’s without his magic; he’s just weak, useless, and alone.  This was his penance. The only thing left would be letting this Tony kill him, a fair trade giving his life to the life he sacrificed.

But this Tony Stark isn’t kind; his kindness is a poison, a beautiful sweet cruelty that serves as a bitter reminder that his Tony is gone.

This Tony gave him his hands back thinking it was the thing he wanted most. Back when he wanted nothing more, but now desperately wanting to get rid of them. It wasn’t worth the universe’s blood price. Smooth unblemished hands, strong and steady. No metal screws are shown in x-rays. A reminder of his old life, a life he can’t go back to, not after seeing both the wonders and horrors the universe has shown him. It’s taunting him as he’s stuck in a gilded prison.  He breaks them against the wall, the damage doesn’t last. Extremis would simply undo any damage he does to himself.

This Tony would often ask how his other counterpart fared. Another reminder on how he ruined Tony’s family. He doesn’t even bother to look at him. He doesn’t want him to see how he failed his Tony so terribly. Somehow, the topic would switch to answering questions about his life, his reason to become a doctor, to becoming a sorcerer, and why he hasn’t escaped yet.

And this Tony found out his weakness, and gleefully exploited it.

Feather-light touches, a ghost of a breath whispering desire, a sculpted body laid bare before him.

This Tony Stark is the devil, tempting him to fall.

And boy did he fall.

He knew his Tony was married and had a daughter, and would never offer himself up so freely, so wantonly. But here’s Tony Stark lying nude on the bed, begging for him. It should have easy, one desperate wish fulfillment, to make his peace before facing a harsh reality. A Tony is better than no Tony at all. No matter how much it hurts to leave his peacefully sleeping form. He’ll never forget this; he’ll take this to his grave. He has to leave this dimension; he’s going to go mad. His duties are more important-

“Are you going to leave me Stephen?”

 **FUCK**.

He’s trapped in a cycle more vicious than being killed by Dormammu.  Every single day he’s tempted back into Tony’s bed. He loves Tony but hates this twisted version of him. But he hates himself more for loving this version too. Because _his Tony is dead_ and Tony is _right here_. He can’t, he won’t leave him again. He can’t do this again…

Why shouldn’t he be happy? Why shouldn’t he be glad to have his hands back, to have a second chance with his love? This universe is safe from otherworldly threats. Tony is alive and with him. By all accounts, he should be happy.

But…

Deep down he knows everything here is _wrong_. Every time he sees arc reactor blue eyes, he flinches at the sight. He misses the warm brown eyes he fell in love with. The Tony he loved was warm and kind and so selfless and soft. The one in his arms was a cold, greedy indulgent creature constantly chasing his next pleasure. He missed the comfort of the sanctum, his friends, and his cloak. Here he’s all alone with this mockery of his love.

He hates him, he hates loving him, hates himself for loving him. But he’s all he has left.

But he’s not the one he wants.

And this Tony knows it, revels in it, takes pleasure in it. Because Tony Stark loves the fact he could get Stephen Strange to lose himself to his darker impulses, to pin him down and just take what he wanted; losing himself and pretend to live a beautifully crafted lie. Tony loves all the marks he’s been given. Stephen sees them as a reminder of his shame.

 Stephen lies in bed with a soundly sleeping Tony, with hands interlinked. He feels hollow and empty, and when he sleeps.

He dreams of warm brown eyes.

 

**Author's Note:**

> *Looks over work* Meh, I'm not mad at it. 
> 
> Reviews are absolute love or come yell at me for making Stephen sad at my Tumblr at [MetalandFood](https://metalandfood.tumblr.com/)


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